Thursday, May 25, 2017

Moving Forward

"Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible."

~ Viktor Frankl from Man's Search for Meaning


Learn to let go and move forward. The past is the past, the future is yet to come, the moment we live in is right now. The only way to get over anxieties, fears, and bad memories is to be present in today. Know who you are when you're doing what you're doing. Be authentic and true to your own spirit and soul. Avoid the road blocks and detour around them with ease. A happy soul is one that is present in mind and focused on constantly moving forward.



Lean On by Major Lazer 



When focusing on moving forward and avoiding road blocks, quite often the correct vision or set of events for a life course is easier to follow than expected. 


Energy frequencies or vibrations.  I girl I once knew on the west coast reminded me of the concept of energy frequencies or vibrations.  It reminded me of the science of sound waves and how they are received by the ear drum, which sound waves are audible and which ones are not.  Dogs hear a different frequency than we do. 


As mentioned in the post I made in the fall of 2016, “Sometimes when you are thinking about the future, ideas of what can happen will float into mind, giving the possibility of multiple futures.  Usually the right idea of what's to come will flow to you like magnets attracting to each other in a line.”  If you stay with the same vision in mind- the same energy frequency- following the magnetic attraction of you’re the moment before


I’ve come to realize that much of our ability to move forward from bad events, times in our life, people we’ve met, experiences comes from our ability to choose life.  Much like the choose your own adventure novels I mentioned in the post from 2016

Reflection Edited

It's a day of reflection.  Waking up is hard to do.  It's not that I wanted to stay in the same place for years, but complacency is something that happens way too easily. Almost like an addiction.  A smoker has a routine of smoking- whether it be smoke in the morning, after breakfast, on the car ride home from work.  Complacency can affect a person the same way.  

I've found a great video on YouTube for yoga.  It's called Yoga Class with Affirmations for the Development of Mental Powers- or as I like to call it- Mental Clarity.  A focused mind is a strong mind.

I practiced this video for quite a while, more to create a balance in my body.


Sitting here drinking coffee at 530 in the morning. I woke up around 4am today. Stayed in bed for a while. I've been staying with my mom for the past month or so.  The guy I was with (for 7 years) and I broke up about a month ago.  Things hadn't been the greatest for a while, I probably should have moved out sooner- such is life.  While it's possible to see the past, it's not overly possible to actually go back in time and change the easy things went.  Moving forward is the only way to go.  I've been having these really bizarre dreams- maybe I shouldn't call them dreams.  Every so often my body will ache or have a ghost touch in a very specific location.  I tried to ignore them- ignoring is not a good thing to do.  To be honest they kind of scared me at first.  They often bring back really vivid memories of things I don't necessarily need to remember.  And then one day I decided not to be scared.  I went with the memories, listened to the message they were trying to tell me, and accepted the message with a.. 'Huh that's kind of interesting. I will be sure not to let that happen again'.  Not only did I start listening to exactly what these ghost feelings had to remind me of, I  remembered how I used to face the things that scared me the most.  Being afraid of the past isn't something I want to do.  Nor do I want to be afraid of the future.  Being in this moment is really the only way to live.  Staying active really helps, reading, writing, focusing on doing rather than quiet contemplation.

The Pretenders- Love Colours

A Little Poem

In quiet contemplation
I sit and wonder
Is this the reality
I've fallen into? 

Days become weeks
Weeks become months
Hours pass like fall leaves

Are hopes and dreams
Only a vision?
Do visions only become reality?
I often feel that there is a right path to follow.  An open existence is one that needs to be carefully navigated. In a world where there are infinite possibilities, when you comes to a fork in the road, is it possible to pick more than one existence at once? 

Sometimes when you are thinking about the future, ideas of what can happen will float into mind, giving the possibility of multiple futures.  Usually the right idea of what's to come will flow to you like magnets attracting to each other in a line.  

Sometimes- and quite often- the path chosen- or paths chosen- will lead to the same end result. 
When I was a small child I used to write like this all the time.  My favourite books to read were the choose your own adventure books.  I loved using this old typewriter I had, although editing wasn't the easiest.  I stopped writing when I was entering puberty, I think I got a little boy crazy- like most girls.  I would write down poems, ideas, and thoughts that I had- and kept most of them- until recently.  From what I remember, most of what I wrote about was life and death, energy, incarnation, and just general thoughts and ideas.  I, unfortunately (or fortunately) threw them all out.  Since I've moved in with my mother they have been coming back to me- but in a more adult mindset, with a better set of linguistics attached.  It's like rediscovering who I am and was my whole life.  My mother had always told me not to write down anything I didn't was other people to read.  Although I am a very private person, I sometimes need to write, and sometimes these ideas can be shared, with the right people, at the right time.  
Bjork - Hyperballad 

I started listening to Bjork in high school- this song somehow makes me feel safe. 

Sunday, September 25, 2016


I haven't had the easiest time in the past few years.  Depression can get you down.  Id like to try to ignore the negative.  Maybe not ignore it but look at it in a different light.  We define things in terms of being positive and negative.  I'd like to think that we could define things not as good and bad, more as good and void.  
In mathematics there are a few different sets of numbers used.  The set we most commonly use ...,-3, -2, -1, 0, 1, 2, 3,... 
And the set with an absolute zero 0, 1, 2, 3, 4,... 
There is no negative numbers just the void of numbers behind 0.  

Stubborn Love by The Lumineers 

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Did not sleep well.

I actually thought a cup of dark roast coffee at 3:30 in the afternoon was a good idea. 
Work was fine, interesting, but fine. 
The coffee was delicious, tossing and turning in bed was not.  
Maybe next time I'll get decaf. 
My faithful companions, the dogs, kept me company.  
Although, not being able to sleep definitely woke me up.
I enjoy the quiet. I don't think the dogs understood why I was getting up so late/early, but we trekked outside to the little loves seat and watched the stars. The moon was so bright, not full but bright. I had planned on reading a book, but I didn't want to turn on a light.  The moon had just enough of a glow on the patio to see where I was going, but not enough to read- or maybe I could have but didn't. Either way, sitting outside at night is a really refreshing feeling.  
The coyotes started yiping, but they didn't both us too much.  

Read: Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami 

Monday, February 28, 2011


I`ve been here, for almost 11 months now.  A full year in March.  I finished my second dose of post-secondary education in April, and started my venture to begin a career.  First off, where did all the jobs go lol.  I know that is a running theme right now, but seriously, when we moved here there were at least 10 jobs in the newspaper for Child and Youth Workers in group homes.  As soon as I was ready to find a job, they disappeared; and never returned.

My answer?  Because this door has shut and the one I used to peer through as a child exists again.  The creativity that once flourished, but was stopped for a career.  I didn't realize my love could be my career.  I thought about it when I was in high school.  Could I go to school for fashion?  Could I really be a designer?  But, if you never consider the unknown, the road you follow is familiar, its nice.  But, what if?  Just what if you do that unknown?  What if you jump in with both feet.  Is it scary... not unless you make it scary.  It's exhilarating.  Instead of wanting to spend my extra money on a new clothes and shoes like I used it, I want find myself wanting to spend my money on supplies.  Supplies to bring my next vision to reality.  Mind you, I'm only one dress down, but the second was started as the first was being finished.  It's so hard not to want to jump into next week and see how things are going.