Thursday, May 25, 2017

5:30am

Sitting here drinking coffee at 530 in the morning. I woke up around 4am today. Stayed in bed for a while. I've been staying with my mom for the past month or so.  The guy I was with (for 7 years) and I broke up about a month ago.  Things hadn't been the greatest for a while, I probably should have moved out sooner- such is life.  While it's possible to see the past, it's not overly possible to actually go back in time and change the easy things went.  Moving forward is the only way to go.  I've been having these really bizarre dreams- maybe I shouldn't call them dreams.  Every so often my body will ache or have a ghost touch in a very specific location.  I tried to ignore them- ignoring is not a good thing to do.  To be honest they kind of scared me at first.  They often bring back really vivid memories of things I don't necessarily need to remember.  And then one day I decided not to be scared.  I went with the memories, listened to the message they were trying to tell me, and accepted the message with a.. 'Huh that's kind of interesting. I will be sure not to let that happen again'.  Not only did I start listening to exactly what these ghost feelings had to remind me of, I  remembered how I used to face the things that scared me the most.  Being afraid of the past isn't something I want to do.  Nor do I want to be afraid of the future.  Being in this moment is really the only way to live.  Staying active really helps, reading, writing, focusing on doing rather than quiet contemplation.

The Pretenders- Love Colours

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